Thursday, 15 November 2012

Haven't been able to write this week as I have been working in another role as nurse for 3 days.
Yes, I have donned my old navy sack which billows in the wind and could possibly propel from house to house for my nursey visits. (Who needs a car??) It has been eventful.

Yesterday I visited what could possibly be the most unhygienic flat ever. If I said balls of fag ash everywhere, coupled with the nostril-shattering smell of rotting flesh, you may get an idea of this man's abode. He is  wheelchair-bound with ulcers to the base of both feet which I was directed to re-dress by the nurses at the base. I used to work as a practice nurse a few years ago, so am quite au fait with wounds - in fact, I actually have quite a strong affection for a big old oozer. This guy has a penchant for online gambling, (his words, not mine), and has clearly not looked after himself for many years. I felt genuine compassion for him, until he tried to hit on me whilst I was still dressing his feet. The next (much older) gentleman I visited did the same, asking me if he should "remove the crown jewels from his pants," a completely unnecessary manoeuvre for an upper arm vaccine. In both cases, like Ross Kemp, I got the hell out of there!

The funniest incident happened today, when I visited a bed-ridden lady, who proceeded to reprimand me every time I said the words "OK." I obviously say this a lot, because my 15 minutes with her was spent ricocheting reprimands from her corner for daring to utter the phrase. At one point I even replied 'OK' when she asked me to stop, (unconsciously accidentally on purpose?), causing her to punch the eiderdown. I asked her what she hated so much about the word - she replied that although it does appear in the English dictionary, it is not Proper Vocab! Hmm. I assume she's never texted anyone.

This has all been in aid of christmas gifts, the time of year when I part with hundreds. My youngest was born 2 days before the 25th December, making it sightly more dear, (why did I not time this better? - oh yes, he wasn't timed at all), than it used to be. My family members keep on nicking my present ideas too, which is infuriating. My mum texted me the other day, explaining that she'd bought the younger two their scooters. These were planned to be our main presents to the boys which I made the mistake of mentioning. I replied with thanks, not wanting to seem ungrateful, but I'm on a tight budget this year - there's only so much available for £60. Maybe someone should invent a 'gritted teeth' icon for texting. (The bed-ridden one would just love that).

'A' has been obsessing (and I mean obsessing) about a new car for us. He sold his old M3 and pride and joy last week, and has had to take the bus several times since, which he hates. He wants to get us a white Kia, which is fine except for the colour. White no. I've never liked it, especially now that it seems to have become a status / fashion symbol. Don't get it. He will probably get his way though, because I simply can't be bothered to have another row about it.

I'v actually enjoyed the nursing though; nice to give something and use my skills again. Lots of these people live alone and have no relatives nearby, if at all. Often the district nurses are their only daily contact with another human being and we are always rushing out. It doesn't take much to give them a little lift with a few kind words though - even if they are trying to flash their willy at you!

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